Girl, I want to take you to a gay bar ...

Never accept water pitchers from drag queen emcees who entice you to drizzle the beefcake. I mean, seriously, before you do it, retreat to the on-site internet station and invest in Enron. I ended up on stage (yes, ON STAGE) with a mop trying to do a jig. Then Casey, my lawyer-in-training friend, pulled out his nuh-uh-girl chops and had a discussion with the managers. EJ's is the coolest place I'm never going back to.